6 essential steps to stay calm during difficult conversations

Although we are extremely friendly and polite people, at some point we can face a difficult conversation , whether we have to initiate that conversation or not. Therefore, we must always be ready and prepared to control anxiety, maintain composure and harmony in these types of conversations.

Difficult conversations generally arise because people tend to focus on themselves and what they stand to lose if they don’t win in that conversation. Therefore, if you want to win that internal battle, it is essential that you plan in advance the strategies to follow in case of an argument.

Learn about 6 strategies to help you stay calm during a difficult conversation .

Técnicas para mantener la calma durante conversaciones difíciles

6 strategies to stay calm in difficult conversations

1. Specify your objective during the conversation

Your thoughts and actions are the guarantees of the results you get during a conversation, that’s why no one has the ability to make you lose control if you don’t allow it.

The best advice to stay calm is to stay focused on the goal of the dialogue. This will help you replace your self-centered behavior with behavior focused on what you want to achieve during the conversation.

Cómo afrontar una conversación difícil con calma

2. Cooperate positively in conversation

When we find ourselves in a difficult conversation it is natural for our thoughts and actions to focus on ourselves. For this reason, we feel that the other person attacks us, we see them as an enemy and we usually fight during the dialogue.

Staying calm during a conversation that spirals out of control requires working toward a mutually beneficial solution; in this way we will make the discussion enriching and pleasant.

¿Cómo manejar conversaciones difíciles? 3. Listen

Listening, in addition to being within the norms of a good speaker and a good listener, also has the ability to help you stay calm during an arduous conversation , since it allows you to understand what the other person is saying and obtain the necessary tools to achieve a timely, positive and mutually beneficial response.

Cómo afrontar conversaciones difíciles en el trabajo

4. Take into account the factors that can affect your self-control

We can all lose control at some point, but it is more difficult for that to happen when we know and work on the factors that affect self-control.

To do this, it is best to take note or have a list of the words, gestures or actions that can affect your self-control. That list should be placed in a visible place for you to study it daily and progressively eliminate their influence on your mood.

Using this technique you can avoid a negative emotional reaction , since instead of responding quickly to the comment you will be able to remain calm and look for the best answer.

La importancia del autocontrol en conversaciones difíciles 5. Request clarification when necessary

Keep in mind that there is no wrong word, but misinterpreted. Therefore, when you find yourself in a difficult discussion and have doubts regarding what they are telling you, it is better that you request a clarification such as the following:

  • Can you repeat that?
  • Can you explain that further?
  • Help me understand better.

That way, you will be able to plan your next action or word about it.

Técnicas para reforzar la calma en conversaciones difíciles

6. Do not overstate the importance you should give to the conversation

Although sometimes we believe that we should give greater importance to a dialogue, it does not have to be that way. The best and most advisable thing is to take a difficult conversation as an investigation conversation that does not have the ability to affect you at any time.

Cómo mantener la calma en discusiones complicadas


  • Levin M. Follow These 6 Steps to Take the Stress Out of Difficult Conversations and Get Your Desired Outcome. For Inc [Revised September 2018].