In modern life we run around, always busy with work, personal relationships, family commitments, and we don’t stop to think about how we feel.
We strive to maintain balance, despite the negative feelings that grow within us caused by internal or external factors. Hence the importance of having tools to train emotional intelligence , or what is the same, the ability to understand how we can influence in an adaptive and intelligent way on our emotions and on our interpretation of the emotional states of children. the rest.
This aspect of the human psychological dimension plays a fundamental role in our way of socializing and in our adaptation strategies to the environment, so it is convenient for you to know 5 quick tricks to increase your emotional intelligence .
5 tricks to increase your emotional intelligence
To achieve success, intellectual excellence or technical ability are not enough, you must learn to recognize and value skills by working daily to obtain positive energies, channel and balance your emotions, both in daily life and in your work, achieving this way proposed.
Start now to put these 5 tricks into practice that will help you quickly increase your emotional intelligence :
1. Learn to pause in time
Pausing, sometimes as little as a few seconds, can make a big difference in our reactions. This is a very simple advice, perhaps one of the most important, but it is very difficult to put into practice if you want to develop your emotional intelligence .
You should take some time to think before speaking or acting in a situation where you feel like you are going to respond emotionally. Doing so can prevent you from saying or doing something that you will later regret.
When you feel upset, it helps to count silently, one at a time, to 10. Those seconds are more than enough to allow your rational brain to take over, so you can think before you react.
If possible, take a short walk. Once you’ve had a chance to calm down, go back and decide how you want to move forward.
2. Reflect on your reactions
Emotionally charged arguments are often rooted in deep-seated problems. Therefore, if you do not solve the root of the problem, it will most likely continue to appear throughout your life. That is why you should not pause or silence to completely forget the situation. Instead, reflect on the reasons for the situation so that you can return to the issue at a later time, after all parties have had time to calm down.
On the other hand, before returning to a sensitive topic, you should carefully evaluate where and when to speak in order to have a calm and rational discussion. Adopting a position of prudence and caution are tricks for managing emotions .
Remember that emotional intelligence does not imply being always happy or avoiding disturbances, but maintaining balance: knowing how to go through the bad moments that life brings us, recognizing and accepting one’s own feelings and getting out of those situations without hurting oneself or others. the rest.
3. Don’t raise the volume of your voice
One of the ways to detect the level of emotional intelligence that a person has is precisely the tone of voice that he uses in discussions of difficult topics. Consider that when you communicate, your interlocutor will always tend to react with the same style and tone of voice that you choose: if you speak with a calm and rational voice, they will respond in a similar way; if you yell, on the other hand, the counterpart will also start yelling. Hence the importance of controlling the volume of the conversation.
If you need to have an emotionally charged conversation, speak in a calm and focused manner. If the discussion starts to escalate, focus your efforts on “redrawing” it by softening the tone or even lowering your voice. We assure you that the results of applying this advice in your most complicated discussions will surprise you.
4. Practice active listening
You must pay attention to the conversation in order to learn more about the other person’s perspective. In other words, don’t listen to help figure out how to respond; instead, listen to understand. This is a useful tool to increase your emotional intelligence .
Try to tune in to the other person and resist the urge to judge, offer advice, or even try to identify solutions to the discussion. Instead, try to gather more information so that you can visualize the other person’s point of view. Through careful listening, you can identify gaps in their knowledge, perception, or discover basic misunderstandings that you didn’t know existed. Take into account the possibility that the discussion has no further support and is based more on an overreaction.
If an interaction with another person turns emotional – and leaving the situation is not an option – I recommend that you stop talking. This trick is useful for managing emotions , because at that moment, sharing your point of view will not help the situation; rather the opposite, it generally makes things worse.
When what is said hurts, the damage is done. Also, by pressing the mute button, you allow the other person to express their feelings without interruption.
To achieve this, take a deep breath and remember that both your mood and that of your interlocutor are temporary. In general, much of what you say at this point may be extreme or exaggerated; so the solution is to resist the urge to respond immediately.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand how we can adaptively and wisely influence both our emotions and our interpretation of the emotional states of others.
To get out of a complicated situation you can resort to pausing to think, modulating the tone of voice you use in a discussion, paying attention, reflecting or simply being silent at the right moment. These are very useful tricks to increase your emotional intelligence .
- Bariso, J. 7 Simple Tricks That Will Instantly Increase Your Emotional Intelligence. For Inc [Revised September 2018].