Finally! After a long season of work, the holidays have arrived! Surely you already have in mind a whole list of things you want to do: go to the beach, go up the mountain, go shopping, go on an adventure trip … or also, have dinner with your bitter uncles, do tasks that you don’t like to do, but you can usually run away from because you have the excuse of “I’m busy with work” …
Ahm, maybe after reviewing that list, you are no longer so excited about your next vacation. While even those days of wonderful freedom and fun aren’t perfect, there are ways to deal with those things that always threaten to ruin your vacation.
5 stressors we must deal with on vacation
1. Bitter memories
Returning to your parents’ house after a long time and stirring memories of the past is not always beautiful, much less when these memories are bitter in taste. The holiday season often lends itself exceptionally well to remembering things, whether they are good things or unpleasant things.
You cannot change the things that have already happened, you can start by understanding that. There will always be something you regret, or someone you miss, but the truth is that life goes on.
Take a deep breath for five seconds, focus on what hurts you and … let it go! Things may have been very good in the past, but if you allow yourself, the future can be even better. Don’t let something from the past ruin your present , especially not if it is the holidays!
2. Difficult relatives
Family is that little place where you feel comfortable and safe. That place where, no matter where the blow comes from, nothing can hurt you. However, do you remember that aunt or that cousin who made your life miserable for decades? Those relatives who, with incredible ease, had all the ability to ruin your days off, how to forget them! Don’t worry, it didn’t just happen to you. We’ve all had unsavory relatives who had the ability to ruin even the funnest vacations.
Do you remember the child of those days? That little guy unable to complain or be contrary to any of them? That is not you anymore, or am I wrong? Time has passed, and life has made you grow. You’ve changed. However, they do not. Time to impress. Before any of them start complaining, give them a reason to recognize you: don’t you look taller now? Were you always just as smart? What a great sense of humor!
Whether it’s your position as vice president of sales for the company you work for, your award for honor of student merit or your new haircut, they must see that you are no longer the same child of years ago, who bowed his head before them. Break the pattern, and don’t let them see you for who you used to be.
3. Boring traditions
If you live alone or far from your parents, it may be that when you visit them you feel that things have not changed at all. And you might find that adorable, maybe even nostalgic. But chances are, after a while, you will feel bored. The same meals, the same conversations, the same activities and traditions. Enough! There is nothing more stressful on vacation than monotony.
Stop complaining that things don’t evolve and make them evolve. Suggest new activities, show your mother a new recipe from YouTube or bring exotic infusions with you for tea time with your grandmother. The trick is to propose these things without the expectation that they will be accepted without reservation.
The changes may not excite your old people firsthand, but over time it will cause them, at the very least, curiosity. Look at it as a civilizing project: bring some of your modern life into the old-fashioned family niche.
4. New traditions
What happens when, on the contrary, what you want is that your traditions remain as they have always been? Not all of us are happy with changes and, certainly, if they are called traditions it is because they must prevail. You may enjoy the comfort and nostalgia that the meals your grandmother used to make when you were little or the same bad jokes from your father bring you, and you don’t want any of that to change, but… your vacations can’t always be the same.
Surprise! Times change, and it’s not just you who have been affected by it. Your grandmother may use your visit to try the recipes she learned in her new cooking class, or your dad now watches comedians online and has improved his routine. You can’t let that get to you.
If you want to keep certain customs as static, the ideal is to speak it and make your point. However, there must be commitment on both sides: ask for what you need and give others space to feel at ease. It’s never a bad thing to modernize old family traditions a bit. Who knows? You may even like the new ones better. The trick is to always see change as a positive thing.
5. Unrealistic expectations
Who doesn’t want a perfect vacation, without fights or conflicts between old friends or family that you haven’t seen in centuries? Anyone wants everything to be laughter, love, and good vibes from start to finish; However, when you visit your parents’ house or meet an old friend, it is normal for differences to arise. The time they have spent apart becomes apparent.
Don’t let a bad moment or inappropriate comment ruin your vacation . And if something like this happens, you can always use deviation. Have funny or neutral stories and conversation starters ready for when things get a little tense. If necessary, give yourself a five-minute break.
Try not to let those moments affect you too much. Almost everyone goes through things like that too.
References
- Sylvia Lafair. The 5 Biggest Holiday Stressors (and How to Get Over Them), for Inc. [Revised April 2017].
