Going to live with your partner is not an easy decision nor should it be impulsive. When this commitment is established, the person, their virtues, their defects … and the family are accepted. Do you think you are ready? If you are going to take the step of proposing to your partner to live together, this guide to the art of living as a couple and not killing the relationship will solve your biggest doubts.
What you should take into account before going to live with your partner
The romance of the idea of living with your partner can turn into a nightmare if you make a hasty decision, on impulse or pressure. If you think that in the relationship you are at a point close to the commitment that living as a couple entails, first reflect on these issues that will arise on a day-to-day basis.
Complicated issues that can mark coexistence
Although specialists in couple dynamics recommend starting to live together when there has been a previous cohabitation , see a week of vacations, weekends, when going to live with your partner, you have to talk about day-to-day issues that can generate many couple conflicts in the future.
With them we refer to areas such as cleaning, shopping, and the entire arc of housework that, in case of enchanting the environment, can break relationships.
Where to live together?
In his house? Yours? Maybe it will improve in a rental apartment? Making the decision to move in together as a couple must be made after evaluating the pros and cons of the location of the place where you are going to share a house. If there is a disadvantage for one of the parties and the other acquires all the benefits without any kind of compensation that balances the agreement, in the long run it will be a drag on good coexistence.
Money, one of the main obstacles to successful coexistence
Two out of three relationships break with money as one of the deciding elements. To avoid starting the relationship without foundations in this new stage, it is recommended to expose before signing any agreement the current economic conditions that will govern as soon as you are going to live together; and what happens if the labor and / or economic circumstances of one or both parties change.
It is important to determine the percentage of weight of the contribution of each of the couple, always based on their economic capacity. If one of the parties cannot bear the cost of emancipation, the couple will have to come up with a solution.
In the cases in which it is chosen for the one with the highest purchasing power to assume the total costs, it must be clear that this is temporary until the other party can take charge of their part. Only in this way will a dependent toxic relationship dynamic be avoided.
Empathy and respect, keys to going to live with your partner
Nobody is perfect. After the infatuation phase, living together enters a phase of knowledge and recognition . In this way, you will discover manias and details that you did not know about your partner. It is not the same to be in a vacation hotel than in your own home.
Hence, it is recommended not to start a coexistence without a minimum of relationship time. Although you never know the other person 100%, a long-term relationship does prepare us more for what it may mean to go live with your partner.
When is the perfect time to take the step of moving in as a couple?
The time to raise the issue of living together has to come naturally , although, if you find that you are both at that point in the relationship, you can always give a push in the form of detail . For example, some double engraved key rings for couples, in which you include the keys to your apartment or an invitation to look at your first rental home.
With this simple (and inexpensive) gesture of giving your partner the matching keychain, you will be sending a clear message of “I want to move forward in the relationship.”
When is the ideal time to dare to take the step? In the first place, and although it is very basic, neither of the two should be maintaining another romantic relationship . Secondly, it is recommended to have known the closest environment of the other party , in addition to talking about future expectations and, above all, that both parties want it .
Communication, respect and commitment are the solid bases on which a solid relationship is guaranteed. In the same way, respecting the identity and space of the couple, empathizing and negotiating are intrinsic parts of a relationship.
