Do you think your partner is constantly flirting when you go out for a drink? Do you think they pay a lot of attention to other people and spend less time with you? Feeling jealousy is quite natural in these situations, but if we are not able to control the feeling and let it affect us to the point of causing arguments with our partner, it can become very negative . Here we give you some tips to learn to control jealousy and identify it without affecting us.
7 ways to learn to control jealousy
1. Recognize when you are being jealous
Many times when you feel jealous you start small arguments or you get defensive and passive-aggressive instead of talking about what really bothers you, and that lack of communication usually ends up affecting the couple. The best way to control jealousy is by being able to recognize the problem in the first place
2. Try to see your relationship from the perspective of one of your friends.
If you were a friend and listened to your own problems from the outside, how would you react? Would you think it makes sense to be angry about the situation, or would you think that it is totally normal and that your friend is exaggerating? Putting distance between you and your relationship always helps you see everything more clearly and can be a good way to help you control your jealousy.
3. Just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean anything is going to happen
Sometimes it happens to us that we are so afraid that something bad will happen that before it has happened we already mourn the loss … But the vast majority of those times, that thing that we fear so much does not happen. These thoughts are very frequent in situations of jealousy in the couple, but the truth is that just because we have the hunch that our partner could be in another person, that does not mean that they really have a lover and that they are spending time together planning a happy future while they laugh at you behind your back.
We all have close friends with whom we maintain a closer relationship, we all flirt with strangers – sometimes without even being really aware of it – sometime, but with no intention of going any further. After all, being nice to please other people doesn’t mean we want to act accordingly , does it?
Therefore, if your partner has never given you reasons to distrust and you do not have proof or reliable indications that something may be happening, do not worry and do not let doubts consume you. And if it really worries you, speak directly to him about it. His answer, for better or for worse, will reassure you.
4. Find out if there is an underlying reason why you are jealous.
Sometimes when we feel jealous towards our partner, it is actually because we are angry with them for something else entirely. Maybe they forgot your birthday or haven’t been supporting you lately in some situation when you needed it, and instead of just talking to them about it, we suddenly become suspicious of everything they do. These behaviors are sometimes unconscious, but they do happen. If you want to control jealousy, analyze if you really have reasons to be or if what really happens is that you have another problem with your partner that you have not talked about.
6. Do not react hot
The fundamental key to controlling jealousy you have to internalize it and repeat it like a mantra: the fact that you are jealous does not mean that you have to act accordingly . Jealousy is natural, but it doesn’t always lead to an argument where you say things that you may later regret. Before jumping, take a deep breath and stop to think if the situation is really bad. If it isn’t, let it be; And if it is, try to talk to your partner quietly.
7. Let go of burdens from previous relationships that have nothing to do with your current partner
Another good way to control jealousy is to get rid of insecurities caused by past relationships. That your previous partner betrayed you and cheated on you does not mean that the one you have now is going to do it . Your current partner does not have ties to everything that has happened before in your life nor does he have to be the same type of person, so it is not fair to judge him for the actions of others. Trust her and give her a try.
