When most people imagine the ideal love relationship, they think of an enveloping love in which the couple is inseparable, as this has traditionally been taken as an early sign that all is well and that the romance will end with the typical happy ending of romance novels and movies. For this reason, sometimes couple relationships in which there is detachment are seen from the outside as dysfunctional relationships in which love and affection are lacking , as estranged couples that are less close than those considered “normal”: However, Detachment does not mean that the couple lacks affection or love, but quite the opposite: it is the perfect sign that the two people feel respect for the other , allowing the couple’s independence so that they can maintain their identity without there must be disinterest or negatively affect the affective relationship.
What is detachment?
Detachment is one of the most important aspects to achieve a deep and true love relationship. Believe it or not, practicing detachment while remaining vulnerable can greatly benefit your partner. Detachment is about maintaining a frame of mind that allows you to see things objectively and not hold on. When you start practicing detachment in your love relationships, you find the path that leads to unconditional love. Only a detached person can love unconditionally , that is, without expecting anything in return.
Being attached to someone means that you love them for their proximity, which makes you feel good. But what will happen when your partner does something that bothers you, or decides not to include you in their plans? In these cases, if there is no detachment, you will be overwhelmed by bitterness, anger and resentment. But when you love with detachment, you are not concerned with the results of your love, which emanates from you like the perfume of a flower. The flower will not stop spreading its delicious smell when we move away from it; in the same way, loving from detachment allows you to do it without conditions or limitations .
How to do it? The key is knowing how to find the balance, the right level where there is a space for oneself and another for the couple, trying not to fall into evasions and involving our partner without losing independence . It is very important that the other feels that he is part of his partner’s life, but that does not mean that he should be fully included in all the plans and activities that the other carries out. For this there must be communication and understanding between the two members of the couple, essential to be able to reach this balance.
Detachment, a love without conditions beneficial to the relationship
When you love someone with detachment, you do not think about what will happen, your love is born from the heart and not the reason. This love will not continue to flow if you move away from your heart, it can love without restrictions or limitations. While love with attachment is expressed with words in which there is room for a justification (“I love you because”), which imply a condition that is what provokes that love, love with detachment speaks of an “I love you” without more, without conditions that affect it . You can even advance in this last way of loving, realizing that pure love is expressed with words from within, with an “I love”. Because, as the philosopher and speaker Osho said: “Love is not a relationship, it is an existential state”
References:
- Lamenteesmaravillosa.com
