Since it was first introduced decades ago, the concept of emotional intelligence has been heralded by many as the secret and intangible key to success. But as this concept has grown in popularity, it has also become widely misunderstood.
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability of a person to identify emotions (in themselves and in others), recognize the powerful effects of those emotions, and use that information to inform and guide behavior. In this way, putting EI into practice can help you achieve your goals and make you more persuasive.
Learn how to properly develop your emotional intelligence .
- 1 9 truths about your emotions that you should know
- 1.1 1. Emotional intelligence begins when you ask the right questions
- 1.2 2. You don’t control your feelings, but you do control your reactions to your feelings.
- 1.3 3. Others see you very differently from how you see yourself
- 1.4 4. Empathy can greatly increase the value of your work
- 1.5 5. Criticism is a gift
- 1.6 6. It is vital to gain confidence before issuing negative comments
- 1.7 7. Negative emotions can be just as beneficial as positive ones.
- 1.8 8. Differences between emotional intelligence and emotional quotient
- 1.9 9. Emotional intelligence can be used in a negative way
- 2 conclusion
- 3 References
9 truths about your emotions that you should know
1. Emotional intelligence begins when you ask the right questions
Asking the right questions provides valuable information about the role emotions play in everyday life. For example, if you are frustrated at work, you might ask yourself the following:
- Where is the underlying problem? Is it a task, a colleague, a situation?
- Do I have any control over this? What can and cannot change?
2. You don’t control your feelings, but you do control your reactions to your feelings.
Because emotions involve your natural and instinctive feelings and are influenced by brain chemistry, you can’t always control how you feel, but you can control how you act on those feelings.
For example, let’s say you have an anger management problem. The first step is to increase your awareness of how anger affects you. Subsequently, you need to develop an appropriate method to respond to that feeling, focusing on your thoughts and actions. This can prevent actions that hurt yourself and others.
3. Others see you very differently from how you see yourself
This means understanding how perceptions differ and the consequences that these different create; however, for many, this goes unnoticed.
By asking those close to us, such as an important friend or coworker, about our interactions with them and with others, we can learn from their perspective.
4. Empathy can greatly increase the value of your work
The ability to relate to another person’s feelings goes a long way in building and nurturing great relationships. It also produces immediate, everyday benefits, like making you a better coach and manager.
5. Criticism is a gift
Nobody is right all the time; therefore, criticism can help us grow. Unfortunately, emotions often prevent us from taking advantage of negative comments. Even if negative feedback is unfounded, you can still provide a valuable window on other prospects. Unfortunately, not everyone has this ability.
6. It is vital to gain confidence before issuing negative comments
All human beings share certain emotional needs , such as a general longing for sincere recognition from others. Recognizing that, good leaders first focus on the positives and potential of their team. Plus, by getting to know your team, their challenges, and the way they work, not only will they start to see things from your perspective, but you’ll start to gain their trust.
7. Negative emotions can be just as beneficial as positive ones.
Negative emotions are good for your health . We tend to think that being positive is the best, but processing the negative is good for the human being.
Being very positive can cause you to see a distorted reality and live in a world that is not the real one. Negative moods require a more attentive thinking style whereas when you are overly cheerful you tend to neglect important threats and dangers.
“Negative” emotions (such as anger, sadness, or fear) can give you the impetus to dig deeper, learn more about yourself, and develop a strategy to make things better. That is why the next time you feel negative emotions, you should work on exercising self-control.
8. Differences between emotional intelligence and emotional quotient
Emotional intelligence (EI), by definition, emphasizes practical use: it is the ability to apply your knowledge of emotions to manage your own behavior (or, to influence others). The Emotional Quotient (EQ), meanwhile, can measure your understanding of emotions and how they work, but it will not assess your ability to put that knowledge to work in real, everyday situations.
Being aware of your emotional behavior (and that of others) is certainly important. However, instead of just focusing on increasing your emotional quotient, it is recommended that you do the same to apply what you have already learned.
9. Emotional intelligence can be used in a negative way
It is important to know that, like any skill, emotional intelligence can be used unethically . Every day certain politicians, colleagues, and even so-called friends use their emotions to manipulate others.
Of course, this is just one more reason why you should work to raise your own emotional intelligence, to protect yourself. Ultimately, that’s what emotional intelligence is all about – making emotions work for you , rather than against you .
The ability to express and control our emotions is essential, but so is our ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. Therefore, it is necessary to be aware of the emotions behind our behavior, as well as the impact they have on other people (positively and negatively).
- Bariso, J. 11 Brutal Truths About Emotions That You Really Need To Hear. For Inc [Revised May 2018].