Manipulative people are often like wolves in sheep’s clothing. They use emotional blackmail strategies with which they manage to put others at their disposal. The reality, however, is that many times we cannot identify them because their behavior is confusing: sometimes they show themselves as they are, but at times they are kind and understanding.
They are great speakers, they turn things around at their convenience and dupe through cognitive distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention of always taking control and gaining some benefits or privileges at the expense of their victim.
If you have ever encountered a person of this type, you surely know what we are talking about, but if fortunately you have not yet come across one of them, you should know these 7 techniques frequently used by manipulators , to detect them before they start to do it. make a dent in your person and fight them properly.
7 techniques used by manipulators and how to combat them
1. Projection
It is called projection to situations in which manipulators claim that all the evil that surrounds them is not their fault, but yours. It is a defense mechanism used by this class of people to shift responsibility for negative behaviors and traits , assigning it to another person.
The solution? Project your own consciousness and value system onto others, in order to face potential exploits.
2. Change the theme
Although it may seem innocent, changing the subject is a technique that manipulative people use to avoid responsibility . In this sense, they can become teachers; They can even redirect discussions to benefit them.
To counteract this technique, try the “broken record” method, that is, continue stating the facts without giving in to their distractions. Redirect your redirect by saying, “That’s not what I’m talking about,” or “let’s stay focused on the real problem.”
However, if he continues to be uninterested in your topic, disconnect and invest your energy in something more constructive.
3. Devaluation
Be careful when a colleague or new partner seems to like you while aggressively denigrating the last person who took your position. This is a well-known manipulation technique .
Simply knowing the phenomenon is the first step to counteract it. The same outcome will surely come to you, even if it seems to be convincing in its arguments.
4. Triangulation
One of the smartest ways that truly toxic manipulative people distract you from their evil is by focusing your attention on someone else’s supposed threat. This is called triangulation . Generally, to resist the tactic, it is very likely that the third party is also being manipulated.
To counter it, you must be very vigilant and consider that he or she is another victim, not your enemy.
5. Aggressive jokes
The real problem with this manipulation technique is the hidden intention of that joke.
They enjoy making malicious comments at your expense. They usually disguise the jokes so that they can get away with saying scary things, while maintaining an innocent and cool demeanor. However, every time you become outraged by this situation, you are accused of not having a sense of humor.
Do not allow this type of abuse: Although their comments sound like jokes and you think that they are motivated by innocent fun, in reality they are not.
6. Slander campaigns
This technique is based on discrediting yourself, on controlling how others see you if they cannot control the way you see yourself. They play the martyr, while you are labeled as the toxic one. To achieve their goals, they pit two people or groups against each other.
Don’t let them succeed; Make sure you don’t give in and let that horrible person push you to behave in the negative way that they have falsely attributed to you.
7. Change the goals to achieve
This technique relies on moving goals to make sure he has every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you. It’s when, even after you’ve provided all the evidence in the world that you met your goals, they set another expectation or demand more evidence.
Don’t play that game. Know that you are enough and you don’t have to constantly feel unworthy. Validate yourself and learn from yourself.
conclusion
Manipulative people use various strategies to put others at their disposal. They are adept at projecting responsibilities onto third parties, turning conversation topics in your favor, running smear campaigns or devaluing people in order to neutralize them, make aggressive jokes, or simply move goals to make sure you have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied. with you. Hence the importance of identifying these techniques and knowing how to deal with them.
Reference
- Stillman, J. 10 Techniques Used by Manipulators (and How to Fight Them). For Inc [Revised July 2018]