Happiness can come in so many different forms that it can be difficult to define in simple words what it is and how it should feel. On the other hand, unhappiness is easy to identify, since there are certain patterns that are repeated in people who feel unhappy.
Unhappiness is lethal not only for the person who feels it, but also for those around them. Some of the habits that can make you chronically unhappy may be happening right now in your life without you even realizing it. Find out what are the main behaviors that can harm your happiness .
What effects does unhappiness have on people?
A study conducted at Stanford followed a group of people for eight decades and found that being around unhappy people is linked to poor health and shorter lives.
Furthermore, happiness was also found to have little to do with life circumstances: a study from the University of Illinosis found that people who earn more money than other people are only slightly happier than the latter.
The conclusion of these studies is that life circumstances do not influence happiness to a great extent, because happiness can be under our control, it is the product of your habits and your vision of life.
Psychologists from the University of California also concluded that the happiness that comes from genetics and life circumstances only represents approximately 50% of a person’s happiness, the rest depends entirely on you.
What habits does an unhappy person have?
When people are unhappy, it is much more difficult to be around and above all to work with them. Unhappiness leads people to distance themselves, creating a vicious cycle that prevents them from achieving everything they are capable of.
Much of your happiness is determined by your habits (in thought and action) so you must be aware of your actions and make sure that they do not drag you into an abyss from which it is very difficult to follow. TO
The following are the habits that usually characterize unhappy people.
1. Wait for the future
Telling yourself “I’ll be happy when …” is one of the easiest habits we can fall into. The why of how this statement is arrived at does not really matter (it could be for money, a love relationship or another reason) because too much emphasis is placed on the circumstances and not on how to solve them.
Don’t waste your time waiting for something to happen so it can have an effect on your mood. Instead, focus on being happy in this moment , in the present moment.
2. Spending too much time and effort acquiring “things”
People living in extreme poverty experience a significant increase in happiness when their financial circumstances improve, but it rapidly declines above $ 20,000 (€ 17,500) in annual income. There is an ocean of research showing that material things don’t make you happy .
When you create a habit of chasing material things, once you get them you realize that once you have acquired it it no longer makes you happy, you want something else and so on. These experiences are causing you disappointment and emotional wear.
3. Stay home
When you feel unhappy, it is tempting to avoid other people. This is a big mistake, as socializing, even when you don’t enjoy it, is ideal for your mood.
We all have those days when we just want to lie down and not talk, but it must be understood that at some point this becomes a habit that destroys your mood.
4. See yourself as a victim
Unhappy people tend to think that everything happens to them and that life is hard and unfair. In other words, there is nothing that can be done about this. The problem with this feeling is that people who feel this way do not feel any motivation to improve their situation, nor is there an effort involved.
While everyone has the right to feel bad from time to time, it is important to recognize when the vision of life is being neglected. You are not the only person who bad things happen to you, you are in control of your future, as long as you are willing to take action.
The fuel for feeling unhappy is pessimism . You must bear in mind that, if you expect bad things to happen to you, the most likely they will. Observe, analyze well what is happening: you may realize that things are not as bad as they seem.
6. Complain about everything
Complaining is self- reinforcing behavior – if you complain about everything and think things are going to go wrong, you only reaffirm your negative beliefs. Conversely, talking about what bothers you can help you feel better, but we must be careful not to cross the line between a one-off complaint or permanent unhappiness.
Because people who feel unhappy are pessimistic and feel a lack of control over their lives, they tend to sit back and wait for life to pass in front of them without doing anything, producing a situation of stagnation.
Instead of setting goals, learning, and improving, they just keep trudging along and wonder why things don’t change. Keep in mind that if you want to obtain different results, you probably need to perform different behaviors than you are doing so far.
- Travis Bradberry, 10 Habits of chronically unhapy people. For Businessinsider [Revised June 2016]